Wedding Ideas Worth Keeping
(From Behind the Camera)
Personal Touches, Creative Exits & Unplugged Ceremonies
After photographing weddings for more than two decades, I have seen plenty of ideas come and go. These are some I think are worth keeping, not because they are trendy, but because they make the day more personal, more enjoyable for the people who are there, or simply better to photograph.
1. While weddings are meant to be the happiest of days, too many weddings have shadows cast by parents, friends, relatives who do not show up because they don’t support the marriage. To this, I have just one bit of preaching to do: please rethink your absence. Whether it is a same-sex or interracial marriage, a second marriage, or simply a marriage someone in the family does not approve of, the wedding will still go on. But your absence will tear at heartstrings, be the cause of much distraction and angst on an otherwise happy day.
I have shot too many weddings of couples who are upset before their walk down the aisle because their parents or brother or aunt have not shown up as a gesture of disapproval. To these would-be-no-show folks I say, “take a breath, put your shoulders back, a smile on your face, and get thee there”! Show support of your son or daughter or nephew or sister, whether or not you support the marriage. It will go a long way to making a happier day for all, and a happier family in the long run.
2. Rethink the receiving line. Several years ago, instead of a formal receiving line, I asked my two grooms to stand in a beautifully lit spot, drinks in hand, while I took pictures of them with each of their guests as they came to congratulate the couple. This idea gave the grooms a chance to say hello to everyone (in the spirit of a receiving line, but nothing so stiff), it gave them a chance to laugh and ham it up for the camera with friends, it gave me a chance to get a shot of everyone at the wedding... and it was an awful lot of fun.While they waited their turn, every guest got to chat with friends and meet new people. It was a win, win, win.
3. For older or second time brides and grooms who like the idea of a bouquet toss or garter throw but who don’t have many single friends left, a candy bouquet to throw for the kids is a superlatively fun moment in lieu of flowers or garter. It is awkward when singles are called to the dance floor and only one or two come. The idea of replacing reluctant single women with a bunch of smiling, eager kids is a fabulous one to consider.
4. Venues and caterers which serve delectable dinners to vendors are much appreciated. But I especially love the idea of serving vendors (and guests) family-style and putting the leftovers to good use (as the food has not been touched except by serving utensils) by donating them to hunger organizations or even to the hard working staff to take home for dinner.
5. Weddings at unique venues, or with themes, which play to the personalities of the special couple are a special thing to attend. Aside from destination weddings abroad, some of the most memorable weddings I have shot have been on a ship, and on the coast with guests dressed in Halloween costumes. I love the rustic barn, too, which allows guests to be more casual, but which can be gussied up to create a lovely, romantic ambiance. Remember, it’s ok to be off beat!
6. Good lighting changes the feeling of a reception and the photographs that come from it. String lights, candles and other ambient light can make a room feel warmer while also giving your photographer more to work with. I can photograph very low light, but beautiful available light gives me more options and often makes the photographs better, too.
7. Smaller tables where guests can talk easily and enjoy getting to know one another- even those across the table- are too rare. While round is key, to enable conversation at every angle, the large 10 person rounds are just too big to be conducive to conversation.
8. A game and play area for kids is an ingeniously simple but effective idea. Whether it is a beach or just a cordoned off area for kids, giving them something to do during what is an otherwise very long time to behave, allows kids and adults to enjoy themselves more fully, too. Think of providing board games, or even beach-style games with bean bags, candy jars, or dress up area and photo booth.
9. Using creative items with which guests can shower the couple down the aisle has already started trending; I hope it continues. Items such as bubbles, beach balls, lavender, streamers, sparklers, cap guns, paper airplanes delight guests and are much more fun to photograph.
10. Photograph the moments that happen before the wedding, too. Proposals and elopements are some of my favorite things to photograph because there is so much genuine emotion and very little production. For a proposal especially, discretion matters. The photographer needs to know where to be, how to work with the available light, and how to capture the moment without becoming part of it.​
FAQs
What wedding ideas actually make a difference in photographs?
Good light, enough time, and room for real moments to happen make a much bigger difference than most decorative trends. The best photographs usually come from what people are doing and feeling, rather than what was purchased for the wedding.
​
Is an unplugged ceremony worth it?
I think so. Guests can actually watch the ceremony, and you avoid having phones and tablets blocking faces or appearing throughout the photographs.
Does reception lighting really matter for wedding photography?
Yes. I can work in difficult and very low light, but good ambient lighting makes a reception feel better in person and gives me more options photographically.
​
Are first looks a good idea?
They can be. A first look gives you a few minutes together before everything gets busy, and it can also make the photography timeline easier. It is not something every couple needs to do.
​
What makes a wedding more personal?
Usually it is not adding more things. Some of the weddings I remember best included an unusual location, a family tradition, a creative way of involving guests, or simply a couple doing something because it suited them rather than because weddings are supposed to be done a certain way.